Derby Name: Brawny Cash
Occupation: High School Math Teacher
When did you start skating with RCRD: I’ve been with the league since it was me behind a table collecting names for people ready to take on the madness of starting roller derby in Renfrew County in August 2011.
Where did your derby name come from: ‘cause I am the girl in black…. and blue.
What brought you to derby: Just looking for some fun!
Favourite Non-Derby hobby/activity: Reading – yes I am a total geek
Favourite Quote: “I am the Hero. You are the horse.” – Leif MacDonald Mellish (age 3)
Break Neck Bobbie Joe
Derby Name: Break Neck Bobbie Joe
Occupation: Journeyman Communication Electrician
When did you start skating with RCRD: June 2012
Where did your derby name come from: A childhood nickname
What brought you to derby: Looking for a team sport
Favourite Films: Edward Scissor Hands, Stoning of Soraya M, Lost Boys
Favourite Non-Derby hobby/activity: Renovating, Curling, Drawing, Snowmobiling, Snowboarding, learning to tattoo……Any volunteers….jk
Fun Fact about yourself: I can work any power tool out there including, jack hammers and ramsets lol
Favourite Quote: Yeehaw MF’s
Crush U HappiLee
Derby Name: Crush U HappiLee
When did you start skating with RCRD: November 2012
Did you play before RCRD: Sadly no
Best thing about being a roller girl: Pushing my boundaries and feeling the rush of speed!
Favourite Music/Bands: James Tayor , James Blunt, Enya, REM, Cat Stevens. Any dance music if I can dance!
Favourite Non-Derby hobby/activity: Dancing…..and my kids.
Fun Fact about yourself: I love road trips and I never sit still!!!
Favourite Quote: Smiling is my favorite exercise.
D-Stroy N Konk’er
Derby Name: D-Stroy N Konk’er
When did you start skating with RCRD: August 2012
Where did your derby name come from: Input from family and friends…. then deciding on something that fit for me
What brought you to derby: Peer pressure
Best thing about being a roller girl: Being part of such a rockin’ team of women and getting out of my comfort zone!
Favourite Films: Silence of the Lambs, Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Favourite Non-Derby hobby/activity: Photography, working out
Fun Fact about yourself: I participated in the 2012 production of the Vagina Monologues
Favourite Quote: “Tis not about the times you fall down, but rather about the times you pick yourself up”
Derby Name: Darlington Stripe
When did you start skating with RCRD: Jan 2013
Did you play before RCRD: Only in my dreams.
What brought you to derby: Same thing that brought me from Toronto to Renfrew County – sheer courage and love.
Where did your derby name come from: NASCAR doesn’t do it for me, but I’ve got a secret and repressed love of stock car racing. In the family closets, there lurks a photo of me as a toddler, strapped into a make-shift car seat in the passenger side of my uncle’s race car, pure exhilaration gleaming in my eyes. I like to think that’s what I look like when I’m on the track. It’s definitely how I feel out there.
Favourite Films: In my pre-Mom days, I’d have said Amelie and High Fidelity. But as a parent, I’d have to say Labyrinth, Brave and the Lorax.
Favourite Non-Derby hobby/activity: Truthfully, I love being a Mom to my amazing kid – good thing too, because this takes up all my non-derby time!
Favourite Quotes: “When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.” ` Audre Lorde
Derby Name: Dream Killah
Occupation: Probation and Parole Officer
When did you start skating with RCRD: February 2013
Where did your derby name come from: I made a list of ‘power words’ I wanted to fit into my name. I wanted something extremely aggressive.
Best thing about being a roller girl: The best is getting to hear my daughters cheer me on and that feeling of confidence I get when I achieve new skills.
Favourite Music/Bands: I love Oasis (even though they split up) My daughter’s middle name is Oasis. My favorite music is hard rock and roll – not quite metal but just good rock and roll.
Fun Fact about yourself: I am a dual citizen. I grew up a navy brat in the USA and oddly enough I ended up in Pembroke of all places.
Favourite Quote: “People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be” Abraham Lincoln.
Derby Name: Finn McMangle-Her
When did you start skating with RCRD: Seriously??? I can’t even remember what I ate for breakfast!!! July 2012
Where did your derby name come from: Finn McMissile from Cars 2, my name sounds slightly innocent until I squash you like a bug!
What brought you to derby: Like you need to ask…..inflicting bodily harm to others
Favourite Films: Anything with blood and guts, and lots of action!!
Favourite Non-Derby hobby/activity: There’s life besides derby?? Reading, strength training among a long list of other non-productive things!
Fun Fact about yourself: It’s official, my hair has been every colour of the rainbow and I can rock em all!
Favourite Quote: I’m a firm believer in, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”!
Just Call Me Lauren
Derby Name: Just Call me Lauren
When did you start skating with RCRD: June 2012
What brought you to derby: My husband laughed when I told him I wanted to try…had to show him I could do it!
The best thing about roller derby: Getting a great workout with a bunch of awesome people…oh, and hitting others for fun!
Derby Name: Knife S.Killz
When did you start skating with RCRD: October 2012.
Did you play before RCRD: Only in spirit
Where did your derby name come from: Kitchen life.
Best thing about being a roller girl: Derby is constantly making me do things that I am totally not comfortable doing, until I do them and realize it really isn’t that bad to fall!
Favourite Music/Bands: Hello my name is Knife S.Killz and I am a music Junkie! Sarah Slean, The once, Gangstagrass, eminem (guilty pleasure), July Talk, Lindi Ortega, Joel Plaskett,…
Fun Fact about yourself: I used to cook in private clubs…I have fed all kinds of interesting people without ever meeting them. You can really get to know a person by how they order their soup
Favourite Quote: “Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain, Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly
Derby Name: Lusty Boltz
Occupation: Registered Practical Nurse!
When did you start skating with RCRD: From its conception October 2011
Best thing about being a roller girl: Challenging, fun, comradeship, teamwork and SPEED.
Where did your derby name come from: Since I have lightning bolts on my derby socks and I am one of the oldest skaters, not to mention the fact that my joints and muscles were aching after the first few practices; that something similar to “Rusty Bolts” would suit. But, the name needed more pizazz and sex appeal, hence Lusty Boltz.
Favourite Non-Derby hobby/activity: My nose in a good book, spiritual research, casting spells and making sweet Love.
Fun Fact about yourself: I have a fraternal twin sister, Lynn. She was born with small hematoma on her head and we always joke that I being one pound, two ounces bigger, kicked her out into the world first because I figured if she got eaten, I’d just stay inside until the danger passed.
Favourite Quote: “You are annoying me and any minute I am going to go all Three Stooges on You. Whoop, Whoop, Whoop,” accompanied by back and forth hand gesture.
Derby Name: Murphy SmackManus
Occupation: Assistant to the VP of Medical Affairs for a nuclear medicine company. We treat liver cancer.
When did you start skating with RCRD: June 2012
What brought you to derby: I have ALWAYS loved derby and always dreamed of playing. After years of excuses and having what I’m pretty sure was a mini-midlife crisis, I decided to actually go watch a practice and I was hooked.
Favourite Non-Derby hobby/activity: Hanging out and laughing with friends! I’m also a bit of a nerd and love watching movies, reading books, and going to fan conventions and meeting celebrities.
Fun Fact about yourself: I met Norman Reedus who plays Murphy MacManus in the Boondock Saints (and Daryl Dixon on the Walking Dead ). He loves my derby name and has a shirt with my name and number on it. He’s my biggest fan. It’s okay to be a little jealous.
Favourite Quote: I shall pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again. -Jerry Lewis
Derby Name: Hellrazn Haymaker
Occupation: Registered Nurse
When did you start skating with RCRD: February 2012
Did you play before RCRD: Never have been on roller skates in my life…..well maybe when I was 10. A long time ago.
Where did your derby name come from: I am a tall derby chick, & I thought I would let my inner country girl out, with a vengeance….a redneck that is hell on wheels!
What brought you to derby: A wonderful group of diverse, culturally unique, women…who have been a true sensation to play with.
Best thing about being a roller girl: the fact that my hubby thinks its cool, he is married to a derby chick!
Favourite Films: Twilight!!!!
Fun Fact about yourself: “I laugh like a hyena, & like drinking with the boys! Oh, & I read a lot!!!!
Favourite Quote: “Drive it, or skate it like you stole it!!
Derby Name: PokaHotWheels
Occupation: SSW Student, Letter Carrier & Waitress
When did you start skating with RCRD: From the birth of RCRD in 2012
Did you play before RCRD: Yes! For Bow Valley Roller Derby in Canmore, Alberta
Where did your derby name come from: Nickname revised
Best thing about being a roller girl: Skating/Training HARD, the feeling of exhaustion from all the hard work & our league (cause they’re all pretty Bad Ass!)
Favourite Music/Bands: Alice in Chains, STP, Dave Matthews & AC/DC
Favourite Films: Old 8mm family home videos
Favourite Non-Derby hobby/activity: Dirt biking, Snowboarding, Rock climbing & life in the outdoors!
Fun Fact about yourself: Loves to travel, listen to wind chimes and feed the birds
Favourite Quote: Alright, Yee Haw!
Derby Name: Bismarck
Occupation: Service Advisor at Pembroke Honda, Freelance Audio Visual and Pyro Technician
When did you start skating with RCRD: February 2012, I think…day one regardless.
Did you play before RCRD: Referee with Rideau Valley Roller Girls, Blocker for the Slaughter Squad
What brought you to derby: Being a Derby Widow sucks, might as well help
Favourite Music/Bands: Clutch
Favourite Films: Six String Samurai, Tombstone, Wrath of Kahn, Last of the Mohicans, The Road Warrior
Favourite Non-Derby hobby/activity: Who has time for that?
Mo Torehead (Referee)
Derby Name: Mo Torhead (but you can call me Mo/Jo)
When did you start skating with RCRD: February 2012 (i.e. when we started it!)
Did you play before RCRD: I started Fresh Meat training in June 2009 with Hammer City (Hamilton, ON), then became a referee with the Rideau Valley Roller Girls in January 2010.
Where did your derby name come from: Miss Fit was taken, so Mo Torhead was my second choice (and if you don’t know who the Misfits and Motorhead are, this conversation is pointless and I’m going to have to call Lemmy to come and “educate” you).
What brought you to derby: I signed up for a freshmeat program as off-season training for hockey when I was living in Hamilton… I didn’t go back to hockey.
Favourite Non-Derby hobby/activity: Curling and bartending with my Mommy.
Fun Fact about yourself: I lived the first four years of my life in a house built on slag from a uranium mine (explains a lot, doesn’t it?).
Favourite Quote: Derbyology shirt – Just because it’s annoying doesn’t make it a penalty.
Randy Raygun (Referee)
Derby Name: Randy Raygun
Occupation: Automotive Technician
When did you start skating with RCRD: April, 2013
Did you play before RCRD: Nope! Been a fan of derby for a few years.
Where did your derby name come from: Ha! I thought it sounded like a futuristic Buck Rodgers-y space stripper kinda name. Randy Raygun. Pew Pew!
Best thing about being a roller guy: Knowing that our sport is WAY cooler than your sport.
Favourite Non-Derby hobby/activity: Horror Movie Conventions! Playing/recording music.
Fun Fact about yourself: I helped build stuff…that went into outerspace. Twice!
Favorite Quote: Some men like em quiet, some men like em shy, but give me a girl with bruises on her butt and that killer look in her eye.